Friday, December 9, 2011

Hospital Tour and Vision Meeting

Yesterday Nic and I travelled up to New Market to go on the hospital tour with the birth family.  Cheryl (the licensee) had called me late in the day on Wednesday to say she was going to try to get everyone organized so we could do the vision meeting after our tour.  She said since we would be in New Market anyway it might just be best to get it done.

We met at the families house first and had a bit of a talk about openness.  I was glad we did because I felt like it made us all a bit more prepared for the vision meeting.  Although the birth family is still saying they do not want any visits, we have arranged to set up a private website with baby updates that they can visit if they so choose and they have agreed they can contact us directly if they want and we can contact them after the 21 day waiting period is over.  We all agree that we get along too well to just end our relationship after the baby is born.  I think explaining that we would be more like extended family or close friends than the birth mother being a "parent" made them feel a bit more comfortable.

We left their house and had a quick lunch in New Market then drove over to the hospital.  We were a bit late getting their and then got insanely lost.  The hospital is HUGE and we obviously picked the hardest way to go in.   We eventually found the maternity ward only because a guy we met in the elevator was nice enough to help us get there.  We were terribly late but thankfully the social worker at the hospital did not hold it against us.  We went for a great tour.  The hospital is AMAZING!  I have never seen anything like it.  Our birth mother will definitely receive the best care possible as will the baby.  We got everything worked out with the social worker and she told us that if the ward is full and Nic and I can not get a room they will keep the baby in the NICU and we can stay with it there.  Nic unfortunately will not be able to stay the night but there is a bed in there I can use.  We thought this was best since the birth mother does not want the baby in the room with her.  Everyone was really nice and we gathered an amazing amount of information.

After our tour we had a meeting with our licensee, the birth mother's counsellor, the hospital social worker, the director of the maternity clinic, the birth mother, the birth grandmother and Nic and I.  Nic and seven women...  He did VERY well.  I was SO proud of him.  I think allot of men would have wanted to crawl into a corner.  I thank all of my girlfriends and the women in Nic's and my family for preparing him for this moment in life!

At first we discussed the labour and delivery part.  Marci the director of the maternity clinic was amazing and went through everything step by step for us and the birth family.  I learned a TON!  After she left and we started our vision meeting.  We talked all about what would happen in the hospital and right after the hospital.  We also laid out the completed openness agreement.  The birth mother will not have to sign it until she signs all of the official consents after the baby is eight days old but we needed to get it done so it could be submitted to the ministry for approval.  Even though they still are saying they don't want visits Nic and I included that we would be willing to do 4 visits a year in case they change their minds.

Overall the meeting went really well.  It was long and emotional but really great.  I truly feel like we have a great bunch of professionals working with us, who I trust 100%.  They had everything organized and I feel like we are in great hands.  We enjoyed getting to know the birth mother a bit more.  She is really opening up and we had allot of fun with her.  She is a beautiful girl inside and out and we are so happy she chose us!

One more thing done!

Next they need to complete the final copy of the social and medical history and Josie will have to meet with us at our house to sign off on a few things. I also think that Cheryl is going to send us a few more things to sign via email.  Once that is done everything will go into the ministry. At this rate I think we will have no problem getting everything in before Christmas.  Nic and I are hoping to meet with the birth family again just after Christmas and hopefully at least one more time before the baby is born.  The consensus at the meeting was that the birth mother's due date might be a bit early so we figure we will see a baby sometime between January 15th and February 15th.  Because of her age she could go early or late.  Is it possible to hold your breath for an entire month? I guess I will find out ;).

I want to thank everyone for your amazing support and love.  Nic and I are so lucky to have such an amazing group of people around us.  This baby will be so lucky to have all of you.  We know we already are.

xo xo

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