This weekend Nic and I drove back into Toronto for our last two days of PRIDE training. The sessions were held on Saturday and Sunday this week which made traffic allot better. It was another day and a half, jam packed with information and emotion. Our trainers comment that this weekend would be more "fun", might have been a bit of an over estimation, but the material was a bit lighter.
Saturday we focused on covering the material left in our binders, and Sunday was mainly for speakers. The speakers were AMAZING. One was an older international adoptee, another a domestic adoptee and adoptive mother, the other a domestic adoptee and birth mother, and finally a couple who were adoptive parents. They provided us with a real spectrum of information. I felt some of their answers to our questions (especially those from the couple who are adoptive parents), helped me to form answers, to questions that were still swimming around in my head.
I cannot get over how much Nic and I have learned in the past five months and how much our opinions have changed. I still remember the devastation when I found out we would not be accepted into the Honduras adoption program. I do think everything in this process has happened for a reason, to get us to this point. A bit hokey I know, and painful at times, but the truth! We could not feel more confident in the decisions we have made and the path we are going to choose.
PRIDE training in a nut shell was AMAZING! We got so much out of it, and I am pleased it is mandatory for all adoptive parents. It should be mandatory for all parents. I think we lucked out, in that we chose amazing trainers, and our group was filled with exceptional people! I do wonder if everyone is so fortunate? One member collected all of our e-mail addresses so we can keep in touch. I am certain these people will be an incredible source of friendship, and support as we continue down our adoption road.
I can't believe I am saying this but we are nearing the end of the homestudy process. We still have to complete the PRIDE Connections exercises for our practitioner. Emma is also due for her vaccinations, so I need to get her in ASAP, and get a new certificate to our practitioner. I am hoping the vet can get us in today. We also need to complete our "what we will accept in a child" form again. I am hoping to pick it up later in the week when I drop off our excercises.
Once our Practitioner has all of that in her hands she will put together a rough draft of our homestudy for us to look at. She said she does have one couple in front of us, who she is fast tracking because they are adopting a number of children. She made it sound like she could still meet next week.
My big project is our profile. For not the first time, I wish my computer skills were a bit better. My goal is to have a rough draft put together by the end of the weekend. If the yucky weather keeps up like it is supposed to, I don't see this being an out of reach goal. It is allot to do, and think about, but I am up for the challenge.
We are both excited about being at the end of this part of our journey. Now everyone has to keep their fingers crossed our practitioner gets her part done. In February when we got started, Nic and I hoped to have the homestudy complete by June 1st. I will be satisfied if it is in my hands by June 15th. Finger Crossed!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
PRIDE Training - Day 1 & 2
Two days down and two to go!
I think I can speak for both Nic and I when I say that PRIDE training was not what we thought it would be. Throughout this process we both have felt like we have been made to jump through some unnecessary hoops. On our way into Toronto at 4:45am on Friday (to avoid morning traffic), we both discussed that this was yet another hoop. Was it really necessary for us to complete a training course, and a 27 hour one at that? Don't get me wrong, we are both willing to do anything to adopt. We just thought this was maybe a bit much.
We were wrong... This may be one of the first requirements in our Homestudy that actually makes sense (next to having to give references). The material was all relevant and sparked some great questions and soul searching. The material is there to inform prospective parents, and maybe scare off some that are not in it for the right reasons. Our trainer Sofie Stergianis (and her co-trainers), present the information in a way that makes it interesting. She has supplemented some of the required material, with her own, that she felt was important. As a private practitioner, and a adoptive mother, she provided some true stories that solidified the information we were learning about.
At times, the good, the bad and the ugly, were a bit heavy. But we came away from the two days, happy for having known about it. We did a number of group exercises, which allowed us to hear about other people's feelings, and experiences. We met some truly amazing people, who I know we will keep in contact with. It was amazing listening to people talk and think, that is exactly how I feel. In allot of ways it was refreshing to learn we were not alone on this path towards being adoptive parents.
I do think parts of it were challenging for us. Just getting Nic to sit still, indoors, for 16 hours, and pay attention. I thought a miracle might have to happen to get that accomplished. I know by the end of Sunday it was getting to him a bit, but he put 100% into the course and I was proud of him. It demonstrated to me how dedicated he truly is to this. Not that I needed that reinforcement, but it was wonderful none the less. He was a bit nervous when he had to stand up and present some of our groups answers in front of the class. He had no reason to be nervous because he did a great job and had everyone laughing by the end.
For me it is the opposite. I feel like I can't shut up! At the beginning she encouraged us to talk as much as we felt comfortable doing. Emphasizing that she is going to be evaluating us, and her thoughts, and impressions would be part of our homestudy package. At the beginning I think that was part of my motivation to speak up. Especially since it seemed Nic and I were farther along in the process than most people, so I felt I had some valuable information to share. By the end of the first day, I asked Nic if he thought I was talking too much. He said no..... I'm not sure if I believe him.... I tried to say less the second day. But by lunch I had noticed there were lots of people talking as much as I was. It hit me that my goal throughout this process was to be myself. I was surrounded by a great group of people, and if my input would help them in some way I was not holding back. I'm a talker, so kill me!
Overall an amazing two days. Some of the topics covered: Adoption Legislation, Private, CAS and International adoption processes, loss, attachment, effects of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse on the adopted child, strategies to help abused children, discipline, and positive adoption language.
This week is supposed to be a bit more fun. We are going to have a number speakers come in. I am interested to hear their stories.
We both really liked the three trainers, especially Sofie. We are contemplating a consult with her, for some advice on strategy, once our homestudy is complete.
The next two days of training are this Saturday and Sunday. I am relieved to not have to drive in to Toronto on Friday again. The traffic made travelling a real nightmare.
I think I can speak for both Nic and I when I say that PRIDE training was not what we thought it would be. Throughout this process we both have felt like we have been made to jump through some unnecessary hoops. On our way into Toronto at 4:45am on Friday (to avoid morning traffic), we both discussed that this was yet another hoop. Was it really necessary for us to complete a training course, and a 27 hour one at that? Don't get me wrong, we are both willing to do anything to adopt. We just thought this was maybe a bit much.
We were wrong... This may be one of the first requirements in our Homestudy that actually makes sense (next to having to give references). The material was all relevant and sparked some great questions and soul searching. The material is there to inform prospective parents, and maybe scare off some that are not in it for the right reasons. Our trainer Sofie Stergianis (and her co-trainers), present the information in a way that makes it interesting. She has supplemented some of the required material, with her own, that she felt was important. As a private practitioner, and a adoptive mother, she provided some true stories that solidified the information we were learning about.
At times, the good, the bad and the ugly, were a bit heavy. But we came away from the two days, happy for having known about it. We did a number of group exercises, which allowed us to hear about other people's feelings, and experiences. We met some truly amazing people, who I know we will keep in contact with. It was amazing listening to people talk and think, that is exactly how I feel. In allot of ways it was refreshing to learn we were not alone on this path towards being adoptive parents.
I do think parts of it were challenging for us. Just getting Nic to sit still, indoors, for 16 hours, and pay attention. I thought a miracle might have to happen to get that accomplished. I know by the end of Sunday it was getting to him a bit, but he put 100% into the course and I was proud of him. It demonstrated to me how dedicated he truly is to this. Not that I needed that reinforcement, but it was wonderful none the less. He was a bit nervous when he had to stand up and present some of our groups answers in front of the class. He had no reason to be nervous because he did a great job and had everyone laughing by the end.
For me it is the opposite. I feel like I can't shut up! At the beginning she encouraged us to talk as much as we felt comfortable doing. Emphasizing that she is going to be evaluating us, and her thoughts, and impressions would be part of our homestudy package. At the beginning I think that was part of my motivation to speak up. Especially since it seemed Nic and I were farther along in the process than most people, so I felt I had some valuable information to share. By the end of the first day, I asked Nic if he thought I was talking too much. He said no..... I'm not sure if I believe him.... I tried to say less the second day. But by lunch I had noticed there were lots of people talking as much as I was. It hit me that my goal throughout this process was to be myself. I was surrounded by a great group of people, and if my input would help them in some way I was not holding back. I'm a talker, so kill me!
Overall an amazing two days. Some of the topics covered: Adoption Legislation, Private, CAS and International adoption processes, loss, attachment, effects of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse on the adopted child, strategies to help abused children, discipline, and positive adoption language.
This week is supposed to be a bit more fun. We are going to have a number speakers come in. I am interested to hear their stories.
We both really liked the three trainers, especially Sofie. We are contemplating a consult with her, for some advice on strategy, once our homestudy is complete.
The next two days of training are this Saturday and Sunday. I am relieved to not have to drive in to Toronto on Friday again. The traffic made travelling a real nightmare.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
CAS Beginnings in Ontario
I have to admit that although Nic and I have had good intentions, we are not even close to finishing our pre-reading for our PRIDE training. With the last minute home inspection and work insane, it just has not been in the cards. I sat down last night to get started (yeah you heard right, started....). I am taking notes so I can brief Nic tonight after dinner and tomorrow on the way in to Toronto. Since it is going to be Friday traffic hell, and we have to take the DVP into downtown, I am sure we will have lots of time.
I am not too concerned, since I know they are going to review all the information again at the training. I just don’t want to be “that guy”, who didn’t do the reading, and has no idea what is going on.
Last night I was reading all about CAS history, and the beginning of fostering and adoption, starting in the late 1800’s. I thought the start to CAS in Ontario was interesting, so wanted to share.
A man by the name of John Joseph Kelso played a huge part in the cause of abused and neglected children from the start. In 1887 he founded the first Toronto Humane Society. The Humane Society had a special police force that “combated cruelty to animals, women, and children, opposed gambling, prostitution, Sabbath breaking, indecent exposure and unlicensed drinking.” It was not until 1891 that it became obvious to Kelso that it would be better for the child protection agenda to be separated from the animal rights movement.
When I think of the Humane Society today and that it was the start of Ontario’s children’s aid societies, it shows just how far we have come as a society. Although learning that these early CAS organizations solely focused on neglect, and it was not until the early 1960’s, that child abuse came to the forefront, is a bit scary. I guess everything has to start somewhere. But really... the dog pound.....
Monday, May 2, 2011
Mission Accomplished
Our home inspection was finally completed on Sunday. Our practitioner called on Saturday afternoon to see if we were available the next day. It made for a bit of a time crunch, but we both wanted to get it done.
Overall I think it went well. She was only here for an hour, which I was a bit surprised about. She toured the house, but did not necessarily "inspect" anything, like I thought she would.
She had given me a list of all the requirements. The way the form was laid out, I assumed that she had given it to me for reference. Then when she came for the inspection, she would go through the list and check each requirement to make sure it was completed. Not so much.... She had me fill it out... She did go over each element that I had checked in the "will comply" column. There were three things. The rest we either had done, or were not applicable.
She had brought another questionnaire for us both. She asked us the questions separately, so I assume, we would answer honestly. Some of the questions involved spousal abuse, which makes me understand why she would ask us separately.
She also took a look around outside. Mainly at the creek, and inside our one garage. We then had a tea, and about a ten minute discussion, and she left. Overall she seemed pleased with our place. She said she really liked the colours I had chosen, and the style. She also said that we had lots of room for kids. So I guess that is a good thing.
She mentioned that she did not have our OPP clearances. It turns out I was supposed to pick them up, which the officer at the detachment did not tell me. I called this morning and they are both ready. We will try to pick them up this week. We each have to get in to get our own. I am going to go tomorrow, hopefully Nic will be able to squeeze it in somewhere.
Friday is our first day of PRIDE training. I am excited to get it started, and meet other couples going through the same process we are. I am going to touch base with our practitioner after the sessions and let her know how it went. I am hoping to get a bit more information out of her then, as to what we still have left to do.
Overall I think it went well. She was only here for an hour, which I was a bit surprised about. She toured the house, but did not necessarily "inspect" anything, like I thought she would.
She had given me a list of all the requirements. The way the form was laid out, I assumed that she had given it to me for reference. Then when she came for the inspection, she would go through the list and check each requirement to make sure it was completed. Not so much.... She had me fill it out... She did go over each element that I had checked in the "will comply" column. There were three things. The rest we either had done, or were not applicable.
She had brought another questionnaire for us both. She asked us the questions separately, so I assume, we would answer honestly. Some of the questions involved spousal abuse, which makes me understand why she would ask us separately.
She also took a look around outside. Mainly at the creek, and inside our one garage. We then had a tea, and about a ten minute discussion, and she left. Overall she seemed pleased with our place. She said she really liked the colours I had chosen, and the style. She also said that we had lots of room for kids. So I guess that is a good thing.
She mentioned that she did not have our OPP clearances. It turns out I was supposed to pick them up, which the officer at the detachment did not tell me. I called this morning and they are both ready. We will try to pick them up this week. We each have to get in to get our own. I am going to go tomorrow, hopefully Nic will be able to squeeze it in somewhere.
Friday is our first day of PRIDE training. I am excited to get it started, and meet other couples going through the same process we are. I am going to touch base with our practitioner after the sessions and let her know how it went. I am hoping to get a bit more information out of her then, as to what we still have left to do.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Mini Profile
One evening earlier this week I was looking through some of the adoption links I had saved on my computer. It had been awhile since I had been on some of the sites and I like to keep up to date on what is going on. I found a great new feature on the AdoptOntario site.
This site is a branch of the Adoption Council of Ontario. The organization that ran the first introductory adoption seminar Nic and I went to. This site in particular is a tool used by prospective parents, adoption practitioners and social workers to help match children in CAS foster care with forever families.
Almost two years ago I signed up for the site. You can enter the age and sex of a child you are looking for and they will bring up some of the children who are adopt ready in the system. Unfortunately not all children are in the system for prospective parents to see, but they do work hard to keep the program used by practitioners up to date.
I had forgotten about the site because when I first used it only a child or two were coming up in our age range, most with severe mental or physical disabilities. This time I recognize the children that came up from The Adoption Resource Exchange we went to in Toronto.
They now have a great new feature where you can enter a more detailed profile about yourself that practitioners/social workers can see. You do not have to have your homestudy complete to do it and it is free of charge. They even have a section where you can select what stage you are at in your homestudy and PRIDE training so that they know where you are in the process. It is called a mini profile. Once your homestudy is complete you can update it with your full profile.
I made some time and sat down to work on our profile. Nic thinks it is a bit too long to be considered "mini", but I am still happy with how it turned out. Allot of the profiles I have read online are geared towards birth parents and are a bit breezy and detailed about your past, family life, and plans to raise your child. Because this is geared for social workers and practitioners I tried to keep it more professional, and less fluffy. A big thank you goes out to Leslie and her fabulous editing skills.
I am glad I found this tool and am excited to have a profile online. With a date for our home inspection nowhere in sight (it has been 15 days since I have heard from our practitioner), it felt good to be pro-active and get us out there. Our pride training starts May 6th, which we are both excited about. We still have a ton of reading to do before then. Fingers crossed we find some time for it on Sunday.
This site is a branch of the Adoption Council of Ontario. The organization that ran the first introductory adoption seminar Nic and I went to. This site in particular is a tool used by prospective parents, adoption practitioners and social workers to help match children in CAS foster care with forever families.
Almost two years ago I signed up for the site. You can enter the age and sex of a child you are looking for and they will bring up some of the children who are adopt ready in the system. Unfortunately not all children are in the system for prospective parents to see, but they do work hard to keep the program used by practitioners up to date.
I had forgotten about the site because when I first used it only a child or two were coming up in our age range, most with severe mental or physical disabilities. This time I recognize the children that came up from The Adoption Resource Exchange we went to in Toronto.
They now have a great new feature where you can enter a more detailed profile about yourself that practitioners/social workers can see. You do not have to have your homestudy complete to do it and it is free of charge. They even have a section where you can select what stage you are at in your homestudy and PRIDE training so that they know where you are in the process. It is called a mini profile. Once your homestudy is complete you can update it with your full profile.
I made some time and sat down to work on our profile. Nic thinks it is a bit too long to be considered "mini", but I am still happy with how it turned out. Allot of the profiles I have read online are geared towards birth parents and are a bit breezy and detailed about your past, family life, and plans to raise your child. Because this is geared for social workers and practitioners I tried to keep it more professional, and less fluffy. A big thank you goes out to Leslie and her fabulous editing skills.
I am glad I found this tool and am excited to have a profile online. With a date for our home inspection nowhere in sight (it has been 15 days since I have heard from our practitioner), it felt good to be pro-active and get us out there. Our pride training starts May 6th, which we are both excited about. We still have a ton of reading to do before then. Fingers crossed we find some time for it on Sunday.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Baby Steps
Late last week I received a call from our practitioner. She has begun to look through the package I sent her and said everything was looking good. She was pleased with the list I had prepared of all the local support groups, and thought it was wonderful I had spent so much time looking into it.
I filled her in on our trip to the Adoption Exchange. She sounded a bit surprised that we had gone, but was glad it was such a positive experience for us. She said most people do not re-evaluate the type of child they are interested in until after the PRIDE training. She felt that our time at the exchange had put us one step ahead in the emotional process.
I felt the conversation went well and that we are still on good terms. She did not mention the inspection or give me any idea of when she was going to do it. She said she still needed some time to go through the rest of the paper work I sent her and that she would be "in touch".
So we are still waiting, but I feel a bit better now that I have spoken to her. Our first PRIDE session is May 6th, which I cannot believe is coming up so soon. We are keeping our fingers crossed that the inspection will be complete prior to our last session on May 15th, since this will complete our part of the Homestudy process.
I filled her in on our trip to the Adoption Exchange. She sounded a bit surprised that we had gone, but was glad it was such a positive experience for us. She said most people do not re-evaluate the type of child they are interested in until after the PRIDE training. She felt that our time at the exchange had put us one step ahead in the emotional process.
I felt the conversation went well and that we are still on good terms. She did not mention the inspection or give me any idea of when she was going to do it. She said she still needed some time to go through the rest of the paper work I sent her and that she would be "in touch".
So we are still waiting, but I feel a bit better now that I have spoken to her. Our first PRIDE session is May 6th, which I cannot believe is coming up so soon. We are keeping our fingers crossed that the inspection will be complete prior to our last session on May 15th, since this will complete our part of the Homestudy process.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Adoption Resource Exchange Conference
Since I last posted there has not been any progress towards completing our homestudy. I have been reading a few profiles and letters from other potential adoptive parents, to try to get an idea on format for ours. But next to that, things have been at a standstill. In a way this has worked out. With all the mild weather the phone has been ringing off the hook. It has given me some time to put 100% into my job and I feel prepared for the upcoming season.
Yesterday Nic and I drove into Toronto to attend the "Adoption Resource Exchange Conference" hosted by the Ministry of Children and Youth Services. It is a semi-annual event that helps locate and match adoptive families with Ontario children available for adoption within the Children's Aid Society. Only people who have completed their homestudy are eligible to adopt, but we thought it would be a great learning experience and give us an idea of what to expect when we attended the next one in October.
The Conference was held at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, which is basically at the base of the CN Tower. We registered when we arrived, and they gave us both bracelets, as well as a welcome package. The first place we decided to check out was the theatre where they were playing videos of the children available for adoption.
Our welcome package contained a list of all the children (name, age, gender, and CAS office). We were both a bit surprised to discover that in all of Ontario the CAS has only 163 children available for adoption. I imagine there are far more children in the foster care system itself, but that CAS is still working with those children's birth families.
In the short time we were at the conference (a little over two hours) we saw at least 300 people come and go. Who knows how many people were there throughout the day. You would think the children available would have a good chance of being adopted with that large a turn out. When I took a look at the signup sheet there were people on it from Sudbury and Thunder Bay. Our drive in to Toronto seemed like a small amount to travel in comparison.
There were a wide range of children available. The youngest was 10 months and the oldest 16 years. The videos showed the children playing and doing some of their favourite activities. The videographers would ask the older children questions so you could learn more about their interests. There was also a narrator who gave a background on the child, as well as information on their personality, health, development, and home/parent desired (by the child and/or CAS).
The videos were amazing! You really got a sense of the child and an idea of their situation. Most of the children under 2 years old had major health issues, and/or disabilities. Some of the older children (2-6) were also suffering from mild developmental delays, but many were showing great improvement. There were many children ages 5-10 who were diagnosed with ADHD. Which made me realize that I really need to find out more about the condition, and how mild, versus severe cases effect behaviour and health.
We were happy to see a number of sibling groups that CAS was only willing to place together. There were some that they were willing to separate (which was so sad), but not generally. These children seemed, for the most part, to have minimal, to no health and developmental issues.
Nic and I were both surprised to find ourselves really drawn to a couple of sibling groups. Our favourites were two girls aged 5 and 3. The older child has some mild developmental issues, but nothing we thought we could not handle. This sparked a very long discussion, over our late lunch, about what we are willing to "accept" in a child. We have been told many times, that this will change throughout the adoption process. Were they ever right!
One of the main reasons we moved on to considering private adoption was because Nic really wanted a child under two. Surprise, surprise that may not be the case. On my end of things I was surprised at how okay I was with the idea of adopting two children. There was even a sibling group of three children that I thought were really amazing. Obviously three kids is not in the cards for us (where would I put them all), but it was great to know that our minds are a bit more open than either of us thought.
After watching an hour of videos, they took a break and Nic and I went to visit all of the individual CAS booths and look around. From our local area the only division that had children available for adoption is Hastings. They had four children available (two 7 year olds, one 8 year old, and a 2 year old). We chatted with the ladies at the booth for awhile. They actually said that a child currently in their care, is in the process of being placed with a Prince Edward County family. We asked some questions about the rumoured amalgamation between the Hastings, Quinte and Prince Edward County CAS divisions. She said that it will be going through, and that April 2012 is the deadline for the transition to be completed. Each area will still have a local office, but they will all work together. She confirmed that neither of the other divisions currently have any children available for adoption.
We also spent some time and went through a binder containing all the children's profiles. We knew we would not see all the videos so thought this would be a good way to check out all the children. We then visited the booths of the divisions who had children we were interested in to find out more information.
We treated this day as information gathering only. We did take home a couple profiles to discuss further, but since we do not have our homestudy complete, even if we wanted to look further into a child, it would not be possible at this time. When we go in October that will be an option. In our welcome package there was a green form titled "Child Response Form". If you were interested in any of the children, you completed the form and returned it to the child's agency. This would get your adoption ball rolling. I will tell you, Nic and I saw allot of green forms being filled out.
Overall the day was a wonderful success for us. Not only did we broaden our horizons, but we learned allot, and had fun. Nic had worried that the day would be really emotional for me. It was emotional, but not sad. It actually solidified for me that there is a child (or children) out there for us. It was great to know that if private does not work out, there are children in the CAS system that would make amazing additions to our family. We understand that there are different obstacles and challenges with children that have been in the system. We are planning on doing some research, to find out more about the specific delays and disorders we found most common. There are so many degrees of each issue, we want to determine what we think we can, and can't handle.
On my agenda for today is to compose an e-mail to our practitioner. It has been two and a half weeks since the home inspection was cancelled. I want to tell her about yesterday and to see if she got my package with all our information. Fingers crossed she can give me an idea of when she might be able to start back up with us.
Yesterday Nic and I drove into Toronto to attend the "Adoption Resource Exchange Conference" hosted by the Ministry of Children and Youth Services. It is a semi-annual event that helps locate and match adoptive families with Ontario children available for adoption within the Children's Aid Society. Only people who have completed their homestudy are eligible to adopt, but we thought it would be a great learning experience and give us an idea of what to expect when we attended the next one in October.
The Conference was held at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, which is basically at the base of the CN Tower. We registered when we arrived, and they gave us both bracelets, as well as a welcome package. The first place we decided to check out was the theatre where they were playing videos of the children available for adoption.
Our welcome package contained a list of all the children (name, age, gender, and CAS office). We were both a bit surprised to discover that in all of Ontario the CAS has only 163 children available for adoption. I imagine there are far more children in the foster care system itself, but that CAS is still working with those children's birth families.
In the short time we were at the conference (a little over two hours) we saw at least 300 people come and go. Who knows how many people were there throughout the day. You would think the children available would have a good chance of being adopted with that large a turn out. When I took a look at the signup sheet there were people on it from Sudbury and Thunder Bay. Our drive in to Toronto seemed like a small amount to travel in comparison.
There were a wide range of children available. The youngest was 10 months and the oldest 16 years. The videos showed the children playing and doing some of their favourite activities. The videographers would ask the older children questions so you could learn more about their interests. There was also a narrator who gave a background on the child, as well as information on their personality, health, development, and home/parent desired (by the child and/or CAS).
The videos were amazing! You really got a sense of the child and an idea of their situation. Most of the children under 2 years old had major health issues, and/or disabilities. Some of the older children (2-6) were also suffering from mild developmental delays, but many were showing great improvement. There were many children ages 5-10 who were diagnosed with ADHD. Which made me realize that I really need to find out more about the condition, and how mild, versus severe cases effect behaviour and health.
We were happy to see a number of sibling groups that CAS was only willing to place together. There were some that they were willing to separate (which was so sad), but not generally. These children seemed, for the most part, to have minimal, to no health and developmental issues.
Nic and I were both surprised to find ourselves really drawn to a couple of sibling groups. Our favourites were two girls aged 5 and 3. The older child has some mild developmental issues, but nothing we thought we could not handle. This sparked a very long discussion, over our late lunch, about what we are willing to "accept" in a child. We have been told many times, that this will change throughout the adoption process. Were they ever right!
One of the main reasons we moved on to considering private adoption was because Nic really wanted a child under two. Surprise, surprise that may not be the case. On my end of things I was surprised at how okay I was with the idea of adopting two children. There was even a sibling group of three children that I thought were really amazing. Obviously three kids is not in the cards for us (where would I put them all), but it was great to know that our minds are a bit more open than either of us thought.
After watching an hour of videos, they took a break and Nic and I went to visit all of the individual CAS booths and look around. From our local area the only division that had children available for adoption is Hastings. They had four children available (two 7 year olds, one 8 year old, and a 2 year old). We chatted with the ladies at the booth for awhile. They actually said that a child currently in their care, is in the process of being placed with a Prince Edward County family. We asked some questions about the rumoured amalgamation between the Hastings, Quinte and Prince Edward County CAS divisions. She said that it will be going through, and that April 2012 is the deadline for the transition to be completed. Each area will still have a local office, but they will all work together. She confirmed that neither of the other divisions currently have any children available for adoption.
We also spent some time and went through a binder containing all the children's profiles. We knew we would not see all the videos so thought this would be a good way to check out all the children. We then visited the booths of the divisions who had children we were interested in to find out more information.
We treated this day as information gathering only. We did take home a couple profiles to discuss further, but since we do not have our homestudy complete, even if we wanted to look further into a child, it would not be possible at this time. When we go in October that will be an option. In our welcome package there was a green form titled "Child Response Form". If you were interested in any of the children, you completed the form and returned it to the child's agency. This would get your adoption ball rolling. I will tell you, Nic and I saw allot of green forms being filled out.
Overall the day was a wonderful success for us. Not only did we broaden our horizons, but we learned allot, and had fun. Nic had worried that the day would be really emotional for me. It was emotional, but not sad. It actually solidified for me that there is a child (or children) out there for us. It was great to know that if private does not work out, there are children in the CAS system that would make amazing additions to our family. We understand that there are different obstacles and challenges with children that have been in the system. We are planning on doing some research, to find out more about the specific delays and disorders we found most common. There are so many degrees of each issue, we want to determine what we think we can, and can't handle.
On my agenda for today is to compose an e-mail to our practitioner. It has been two and a half weeks since the home inspection was cancelled. I want to tell her about yesterday and to see if she got my package with all our information. Fingers crossed she can give me an idea of when she might be able to start back up with us.
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