Journey to Extend our Family: June 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

A Room Finally!

Gaby finally has a room! I still have a couple finishing touches left but for the most part it is done. Nic and I both love it. A big thank you goes out to my sister Elizabeth for her help and creative insight.

Adoption Books We Have Read

An Invisible Thread By: Laura Schroff and Alex Tresniowski
Secret Daughter By: Shilpi Somaya Gowda
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born By: Jamie Lee Curtis
The Open Adoption Experience By: Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia
Real Parents, Real Children - Parenting the Adopted Child By: Holly van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb
What is Adoption? - Helping Non-Adopted Children Understand Adoption By: Sofie Stergianis and Rita McDowall
A Swim Against The Tide - A Fight to Adopt Children into a Loving Home By: David R. I. McKinstry
Labours of Love - Canadians Talk About Adoption By: Deborah A. Brennan
Adopting a Toddler - What Size Shoes Does She Wear? By: Denise Harris Hoppenhauer

Positive Adoption Language - This is especially important to keep in mind around adopted children

Try to avoid constantly referring to the child as "adopted" (eg. "my adopted niece"). Adoption is a legal process and once completed the child is part of our family forever. Drop the "adopted" or "adoptive".
Instead of using words like "real" or "natural" parent, use "birth" parent or "biological" parent
Instead of saying the child was "given away" or "gave up" by his birth parents, say they made an adoption plan for him/her
If you are discussing an international adoption, do not refer to the child as a "foreign child", try to use "child from abroad" or "internationally adopted child"
Do not tell the child "how lucky" they are to have been adopted. Any child who enters our home is considered a gift to us. We are the lucky ones not the other way around.
Do not ask "How much did he/she cost?" In Ontario we do not PAY for children, we pay for professional services, to help facilitate adoptions.