Friday, October 21, 2011

More News...

I feel like we have something adoption related happening every day lately.  I am going to try my best to make regular entries so I don't forget anything.

I talked to our practitioner yesterday.  She said that her meeting in Toronto on Tuesday went well.  She said she was talking to Cheryl Appell when she was there.  She had given her one of our profiles and wanted permission to send her our homestudy.  This is really amazing because Cheryl was recommended to us by our PRIDE trainer.  She is a lawyer/licensee and facilitates allot of newborn adoptions.  I have had no luck getting her to return my phone calls or emails so it is great that Josie knows her and could get us in.  I was super excited and very pleased.

I asked Josie also about the child we were matched with on the AdoptOntario site.  She said the worker was not at the meeting so she did not get a chance to get more information on him.  She said from reading the small amount of info she has she does not think it will be a good match.  From what she told me I went on the site myself and have a good idea which little guy it is.  I also think it might not be the right match.  She is going to request a full history just to make sure.

This week I also spoke with a lady named Sherri from  The Morgentaler Clinic in Toronto.  Morgentaler is an abortion clinic and Sherri is one of the counsellors there.  It is part of their program to present other options to the girls so she keeps some adoption profiles on hand.  Our PRIDE trainer had given me her name but I did not want to call her until we had time to go to Toronto.  I was not sure if she would want to meet with us or not.  We had a nice chat and it turns out I just need to mail her our profile with a few details.  So that will go out in the mail today.  Whenever I have some spare time I may try to find a few more abortion clinics nearby and see if they will also consider keeping our profile on hand.

I think that is it for now.  Coming up we have the Jennie Painter seminar on November 5th.  Her agency is in Kingston and she only takes couples who will agree to fully open adoptions.  You have to take her course first to get on her waiting list.  We have been enrolled for months so it is exciting that it is getting so close.  I am sure once we are done the course we will just be put on a huge waiting list.  Not much we can do about that.  We are getting accustomed to the fact that waiting is a huge part of adoption.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Our New Four Legged, Fuzzy Addition

Nic and I have added a new addition to our family.  She is big, black and beautiful.  After almost 10 years without a horse I decided it was time to get back into it.  Well actually that is a bit of a lie.  I was conned into it.  Suzie came across this horse who was originally found at a rescue shelter.  She has a bit of a shady past but Suz thought she might be good for me.  She had to persuade me a bit to go see her, but once I laid eyes on her I knew she was coming home with me. 

At first I was a bit worried about how Nic would react.  In the end I think he was so happy she was not another dog and would not be living at our house, he said it was okay.  I would not say he was thrilled about it but he has been out a few times to help out and visit with her.  She has happily settled in with Suzie's heard and I think is warming up to us.  She walked right over to me on Monday when she saw me coming which I thought was a good sign.  Nic thinks it is because I have been feeding her so many carrots and he may be right, but I will take what I can get.

With the crappy weather I have yet to ride her yet.  I am really enjoying working with her on the ground and getting to know her.  Maybe I will get on her this weekend if it ever stops raining.

AdoptOntario Site is Working!

Our practitioner Josie called me on Monday to see how the ARE went.  I told her about the two little girls and how we had decided not to pursue them at this time.  She said that she was going to Toronto on Tuesday for a follow up meeting with all the adoption professionals and would maybe talk to their worker in case there was any information we did not get.  In case we decided we wanted to look further into it later. 

She also said she was meeting with a friend of hers that is a nurse in one of the Toronto hospitals.  She wanted our permission to talk to her about us and give her some of our information.  I of course said yes and told her I would run over to her house that day and drop off some profiles so she had some on hand. 

The last thing she said was that she had received a child match for us from the AdoptOntario website.  I can't remember how much I have or have not said about this site before.  AdoptOntario does allot of things in the adoption world.  The are the ones who put on the first information session Nic and went to last winter.  They have also been developing a child data bank to be used by both adoption professionals and prospective adoptive parents.  You or your practitioner / worker inputs all of your information into the system and according to your criteria it will match you with children.  The system is mainly used for children who are harder to place.  It is also a bit limited because it will not let you input allot about what you will accept in a child.  Because of this you are sometime matched with children who have more physical problems that you have allowed for in your homestudy. 

Josie had a feeling that this little guy probably had more wrong with him than the information she had been given.  She was going to talk with his social worker directly at her meeting yesterday and give me a call today or tomorrow with some more information.  So I am looking forward to hearing from her about that.  She said it was really great that the system was picking us up and cosidering us for potential matches.

Toronto Agency, Truck Break In & Toronto ARE

I'm sorry I have gotten a bit behind so this entry will be a big one.  There has been allot going on in our adoption world.  With our homestudy completed we now have the difficult job of getting our names out there, so we have the best chance of being connected with a child. 

Last Thursday we had an appointment with Michael Blugerman.  We have been trying to get in with a Toronto area agency and he is the only one who we could get an appointment with.  I have heard allot about him because he has been in the business forever and also facilitates international and US adoptions.  Many people said he was a bit old school but overall did a good job.

Our appointment was at 2pm so we arrived about 15 minutes early to find his office locked and no one around.  We waited until 2:15 and then I called to see if anyone would answer the phone.  No luck.  He finally showed up at 2:25 which is lucky.  I am sure if he had been 5 minutes later we probably would have left.  He was all surprised to find us waiting outside.  He knew he had an appointment with us but thought his secretary would be around to get us started on our paper work.  Not so much.

We helped him carry in his bags from the car and sat down for our meeting.  I was surprised to find an ashtray on his desk with butts in it which confirmed just how old school he is.  Overall we had a great conversation and he was realistic about private adoption now a days.  He said at one time it was similar to a waiting list and you could see yourself getting closer to the top.  Now with such a small amount of birth mothers it is more like a lottery.  You never know how long it will take or if you will even be chosen.  He said he had just been to a meeting and they said that only 70 private adoptions had been completed this year.  Does not seem like much in the grand scheme of things.

We paid our registration fee and he said he would call us if he showed our profile to anyone.  At least we are registered with someone in Toronto which is great.  It is also nice to be connected with someone who deals with US adoption.  We have heard allot about a rise in infant adoptions in Florida.  We are not interested in pursuing that now but may in the future.

On Sunday we went to the Toronto Adoption Resource Exchange (ARE).  The day did not start out great.  We had stayed overnight at The Westin by the airport.  Nic wanted to drop by the snowmobile show that was near by so we thought a night in a hotel might be a nice treat.  We did have a relaxing evening but when we went to leave in the morning we discovered that our truck had been broken into.  We had a bunch of items stolen but by far the most upsetting was my bag with all of our adoption profiles and information I had prepared for the ARE.  We had not done a ton of networking at the Napanee ARE because we knew it might be better in Toronto.  Now I had absolutely nothing to present to any of the workers.  Even my notepad was stolen that had all the cards I made for us in it. 

This experience was very upsetting for both of us.  We looked all over the parking lot hoping that they had ditched our adoption information once they found it but we had no luck.  We finally left the hotel an hour late, empty handed.  It took us forever to get downtown to the Metro Toronto Convention Centre where the ARE was because of street closures.  It was the Toronto Waterfront Marathon and all the major roads were closed.  I of course had prepared for this and printed out directions and a list of all the road closures but all the information was in my notepad which was stolen.  We eventually made it to the ARE a good two hours after it had started.  Not the best start to our day.

We watched videos until the first break then took off to find Nic a coffee.  He had not had one yet and it was close to 11am.  When we were outside I checked my messages and there was one for a man I did not know.  He said he had been out hunting that morning and had found our truck?  Our truck was not stolen so I was a bit confused at first.  I called him back and it turned out he just assumed it was our truck since it had our adoption profiles in it.  How crazy is that?!?  He continued to tell me he lived on a 6 Nations Native Reserve South of Hamilton and if we wanted we could come and get them or he would turn them over the police.  We told him we would definitely come and get them we were just not sure when. 

Nic and I went back to the ARE since two girls that we had seen in Napanee were coming up in the theatre.  We watched their video and then talk to their worker to find out some more information.  We also had a nice chat with our worker who was there as well.  Then after some discussion we decided Nic should head to Hamilton and get our profiles.  If he really moved he might be able to make it back in time for us to hand some out.  I stayed behind and watched the rest of the videos and talked to a few more workers.

In the end Nic did not make it back in time for us to hand out any profiles but we were both happy to at least have our information back.  Although we lost close to $500 worth of stuff in the theft and Nic's truck was damaged, the adoption information was by far the most valuable to us.  We were both upset that we could not do the networking we wanted to but there is nothing we can do about it. 

In the end we decided not to put an information request form in for the girls we were interested in.  They sounded really amazing but we just had such a bad vibe about the entire day it did not seem like the right thing to do.  Marie from the Prince Edward CAS said if we changed our mind in a week or so she could always do it for us then. We discussed it allot on the way home so I don't think we will but it is good to know we have the option if we want it. 

So not exactly a successful day.  I don't imagine I will get Nic to stay in a Toronto hotel anytime soon.  Just a heads up to our friends and family in Toronto.  You are going to be stuck with us on our next trip.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Napanee Adoption Resource Exchange (ARE)

This past Saturday Nic and I drove to Napanee for a mini Adoption Resource Exchange.  If you remember we went to a larger one in Toronto in April where all of the Ontario CAS organizations were profiling children.  On Saturday it was just the Napanee local organizations (Frontenac, Lennox and Addington, County of Prince Edward, Hastings, Northumberland and Kawartha and Lanark, Leeds and Grenville).  The next Toronto ARE is coming up on October 16th. 

An ARE is where CAS organizations present children who are available for adoption through information as well as videos.  On Saturday they were focusing on children over 6 and sibling groups.  There were 8 individual children profiled and 1 sibling group of 3 children.  There were also an additional 6 children not video profiled who were under 6 including a sibling group of two girls ages 1 1/2 and 3 1/2. 

The main reason we went to this was because we were hoping to talk with some of the workers from local CAS organizations, to at least shake some hands and introduce ourselves.  Because we can only apply to the local CAS (Picton) it is good to meet some of the other agencies workers because it may help them remember us.  Unfortunately there was such a good turn out it was very difficult to speak with anyone.  The place was packed! I would guess there was at least 50-60 people there.  Our practitioner told us she had 7 couples go. 

Overall it was a good experience and we were glad we went.  We did not get to do the networking we wanted to but there is always Toronto in two weeks.  I made a bunch of handouts with mini profiles of us to give to the workers as well.  We are also hoping to see a video of the two younger girls we saw profiled in Napanee. Our CAS worker is looking into if they will be profiled.